FIREBLIND.COM

I received this in an e-mail today:

What Happens in Heaven

This is one of the nicest mails I have seen and is so true:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.

My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, “This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.”
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.

The angel then said to me, “This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.”

I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station.
To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. “This is the Aknowledgment Section,” my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed “How is it that? There’s no work going on here?” I asked.

“So sad,” the angel sighed. “After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.

“How does one acknowledge God’s blessings?” I asked.

“Simple,” the angel answered. “Just say, “Thank you, Lord.”
“What blessings should they acknowledge?” I asked.

“If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. “If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

“And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.”

Also …..

“If you woke up this morning with more health than illness …. you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.

“If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .. you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.

“If you can attend a church meeting without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world.

“If your parents are still alive and still married .. you are very rare.

If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you’re unique to all those in doubt and despair.”

Ok, what now? How can I start?

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Attn: Acknowledge Dept.: Thank You Lord! “Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with”.

First off, I love how the original author of this says that it’s “so true.” Which part, exactly, is true? Angels printing prayers on parchment or angels packing prayer answers into boxes for distribution? *sigh*

It is unfathomable to me how daft people are that send this stuff around. Aren’t they missing the incredibly glaring problem with this? Besides the stupid bright blue uniforms the angels are probably wearing, the fact that the “acknowledgement” angel lists all of those hardships points to the fact that god is apparently stamping a bunch of those requests with a big “DENIED” stamp.

The angel should have taken them to the pain and suffering room, where little starving children’s prayers for some food are printed out and put up on the cork board and drawn on with fake mustaches and goatees. Or, what about the angel break room, where the angels bitch about child support and the genital itch they got after going to that sweet high school party in their ‘75 Corvette?

In all seriousness: if “answered” prayers are proof that god loves you and is out there listening, unanswered prayers should legitimately be considered as evidence against the existence of a benevolent god. If, at some point the answered prayers outnumber the unanswered prayers, then cool, I’ll let you have your proof. What the above e-mail demonstrates, however, is that this supposed benevolent god put those poor and suffering people in the lives they have, and he has the power to alleviate their suffering. Rather than doing so, he has some pussy “acknowledgement” angel sitting in a room by himself listing off all the reasons god sucks (”you’re lucky, you don’t have crippling diseases LOL”).

For reals people: either god is capricious and arbitrary, or there is no god. The illusion of some benevolent grandfather resting on a cloud and shooting down material goods has got to embarrass you by now.