You Deserve to Die
I hate to say it, but you deserve to die. A while back, I wrote about some ambivalence with the death penalty. I’ve decided, however, that if you drive like an unmitigated a-hole on the freeway, I have no ambivalence left for you. Society needs to put you down. Sorry pal, but as Snoopy used to say: them’s the brakes, kid.
I heard a while back that you can actually report dangerous drivers to the DMV, and that the reports go on their record. I wasn’t able to find out how to do that, but I did find this: www.reportdangerousdrivers.com. As usual, I was too lazy to register and see what it’s all about, but maybe I’ll get the plate numbers next time and report your ass. If you do know how to report people to the DMV, let me know. I’d like to make some people’s lives miserable. 
I am serious though: when I become overlord, if you’re on my bad driver list, I’m coming for you. It’s unnecessary to drive like a jerk, seldom gets you anywhere faster, and puts lives in danger. Plus, it makes me want to shoot you, and we all know what happens when I want to shoot people: Pedro saves Christmas for the small town of Atherton. Hooray, Pedro!
