FIREBLIND.COM

Yeah, I know: that headline doesn’t make any sense. Nor does it make much sense that I’ve included a photo of Charlize Theron in an article about a 21-year-old male’s butt. But, given that she’s easily one of the top 3 most beautiful women in the world, I don’t see how she can hurt my chances to become 4th-grade vice president (slogan: a vote for me is a vote against Mark Kirby, the fascist).

Wait, the headline does kind of make sense! I’ll get to that in a second. So there’s an article about a guy who mooned a car during a road rage incident. Because there was a kid in the car being mooned, said guy could possibly be charged with a felony sex crime, and could conceivably receive up to 15 years in jail and be required to permanently register as a sex offender. The article doesn’t say whether this is likely, just that it could happen.

Despite the nasty rumors that stupid Mark Kirby has been spreading about me, I’m not lawyer. But, the possibility of a penalty like that for showing a little hairy butt skin to a kid seems just a liiiiiiiitle bit harsh. Hell, it would still be harsh if he had shown his junk to the kid. If I had a soul, or a heart, I might weep a little for our poor country. I mean, seriously: why did we ever let Who’s the Boss go off the air? Wait, no: I meant, seriously: when did we get to be such bloody wusses and prudes? The parents could take their kid to see a double feature of Boogie Nights and Saw II, and no charges would be filed. But some douche displays his gluteus maximus muscles, and he risks ruining his life forever. Where’s the sense of proportion?

For being the wang of the US, Florida sure doesn’t act like the roudy college boy it should. (Well? Was all the build up worth the “wang” explanation? Gawd, do I need a cigarette; that was so good.)

I swear to Bob: after I leverage 4th-grade VP into high school prom king, I am soooo going to take over this dumb country and dictate some bloody common sense. I’m also going to punch people in the junk for wearing jester hats when they snowboard. So there.

It’s old now, but I came across this article on the Answers in Genesis website just tonight while trying to see if my dumb website showed up on anyone else’s website. Surprisingly, it actually does. Who would have guessed?

Anyways, there are apparently atheist camps for children that atheist parents can send their dirty little offspring to. To tell you the truth, I can’t actually figure out what the point of the camp would be, and I’m an atheist. Atheism is pretty much about accepting “nothing” as one’s world view, so I’m not sure what fun a camp about that would be like. It’s kind of like having an anti-unicorn camp or something. Would we sit around the campfire and not sing about unicorns? Maybe just stare at each other, while we wear our anti-unicorn shirts?

Of course, if I wasn’t so lazy I could actually visit the camp’s website, but I am, so I won’t.

Oh, and one other thing: I’ve never understood why religious groups have to fundraise for things like their creationist museum. If God can perform miracles, you think he’d also be able to either a) just make a creationist museum appear, or b) perhaps move some funds into an unmarked offshore account somewhere. You know, for safe keeping. Definitely NOT for setting up an online Texas Hold ‘Em website in Costa Rica.

Oh, and one other, other thing: I love the unintentional irony of the author in the article I linked to. He’s lamenting the brainwashing of kids at an atheist camp, but has no problem with celebrating the brainwashing of hundreds of thousands of kids who come to his establishment. Hooray, hypocrisy!

Our Father which art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.

I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? … See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. … If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Sorry Paula. God doesn’t care about your Bratz movie. Nor does he care about NFL players and their touchdowns. In fact, he doesn’t seem to care about much, given the state of affairs in places like Darfur. Look at the various pictures I’ve posted, and tell me whether you think he cares much for you being the producer and choreographer of a movie based on children’s dolls that reinforce a non-Christian worldview. I would bet good money that these people prayed for deliverance. That they prayed for food. I would be that you also prayed for success with your little project. Why not get some damned perspective?

Either there is a god, and he doesn’t care for your project or these poor people, or there is no god. The second choice is a lot more humane.

Many religious apologists have described atheism in part as a backlash against god; a god that the atheist firmly believes in, but is angry at for some transgression. Frankly, the idea is absurd. Granted, I used to be mad at god when I was a failing Christian, but now I’m simply angry at the belief system that keeps the idea of a loving god alive despite the obvious evidence that god–if he were to exist–is not at all loving or compassionate.

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I’ve been struggling whether or not to make this post, but I think it’s too important to me not to write about it. About a week ago, my friend’s 15-year-old brother was killed in an automobile collision while coming back from a church camp he attended. The van he was in was struck head on by an oncoming SUV. The SUV and the trailer it was carrying were all but destroyed, and the church van–with its 11 passengers–immediately caught fire. 4 people died inside, unable to exit. According to eyewitnesses, at least some of the people who died in the van were alive and crying for help before they were burned alive. Most likely these were all teenagers, as I think the fourth person killed was the driver, who probably died pretty quickly.

I’ve been obsessing about this incident since it happened. Most people push death to the back of their minds, considering its eternal horror only when it rises up to take a loved one. Myself, on the other hand, consider it constantly, and think frequently about the way in which the Unavoidable impacts life and the important paths everyone takes. Life is all the more beautiful for the very reason that it is so short. Thus, the magnitude of deaths like this one play very heavily on my mind.

I became very angry today, not at god, but at the fact that people continue to believe in a compassionate god. It seems to me that if god does truly exist somewhere out there, believers need to accept that he is more of an abusive parent than he is loving or compassionate.

Consider the death of the young man at the center of my story. If god exists, it’s one thing to let someone die. That might be part of the deal we have with eternity. Fine. But, it’s completely unnecessary to choose a death for someone that involves the most pain and the most mental horror imaginable. It’s particularly terrible that this burden was borne by people so young. If god is almighty and all powerful, it would have been no big deal to provide these children with an easier way to pass into the quiet hereafter.

Let’s suppose that I came upon a man who had just accidentally lit himself on fire, and was in great agony. Next to him, within easy reach, is a fire extinguisher. If I were to ignore the man and his plight, society would convict me for failing to come to his aid. I might not go to jail (depends on the state), but I would be forever vilified as the cruel individual who let someone burn to death when he could have prevented it.

Or, let’s imagine that a stepmother beats her young child frequently and severely, and her husband knows. He does nothing to stop it, despite being stronger than his wife and despite having a total love for his child. Is the father not just as guilty as the mother for not coming to the aid of his child?

I wonder why then, when the creator of the universe has it within his power to at least choose an easier death for someone but decides not to, we turn our heads away from convicting him under the same simple laws of compassion. Either god himself is abusive, and delights in the cruel death and sufferings of his creations, or he is a neglectful parent who is more culpable for having the power to stop suffering, but being unwilling to do so.

If there is a god, then he is a traitor to his own people. He has the power to help, he claims to be loving and compassionate, but in the real moments where it counts he chooses to revoke compassion, and instead allow the most horrific and violent things to happen when there are very clearly other alternatives.

Of course, I don’t believe in god. It sounds like I am angry with “him”, but I’m not. As mentioned above, I’m angry at the belief systems that continue to support the ridiculous notion that somewhere in the big blue sky resides a grand wizard that loves and cherishes his children. My belief system is far more comforting: we have nothing but ourselves when we take that last breath. We can hope that the last we take is one of rest and comfort, but the universe is not always that giving. At least it doesn’t make promises that it intentionally doesn’t keep. With the universe, we know what we get. I can live with that.

The believer might say something like “we humans can’t possibly understand god’s plan at such a heart breaking moment”. Even if that’s the case, it still doesn’t change the fact that god is a jerk. Follow me:

1. There are easier deaths than burning
2. God has the power to control how someone dies
3. God could have given my friend’s brother an easier death
4. God didn’t

If all the above are true, than it’s pretty easy to see the simple logic in what I’m suggesting. The power to change and the power to prevent are malicious tools if they are wielded by someone who cares to employ neither for the sake of his creation.

If the god people believe in were the ruler of a country, we’d all be praying that some brave soul should find his way to put a bullet between his eyes so that the downtrodden, the oppressed, and the lied-to, can finally get some rest and can lift their heads up from under his cruel boot.

It’s one thing to be cruel and to acknowledge it. At least that person is being honest. It’s a far worse crime to claim compassion, to claim love, but to perpetually allow torture and suffering to be the one and only birthright of mankind.