FIREBLIND.COM

Many religious apologists have described atheism in part as a backlash against god; a god that the atheist firmly believes in, but is angry at for some transgression. Frankly, the idea is absurd. Granted, I used to be mad at god when I was a failing Christian, but now I’m simply angry at the belief system that keeps the idea of a loving god alive despite the obvious evidence that god–if he were to exist–is not at all loving or compassionate.

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I’ve been struggling whether or not to make this post, but I think it’s too important to me not to write about it. About a week ago, my friend’s 15-year-old brother was killed in an automobile collision while coming back from a church camp he attended. The van he was in was struck head on by an oncoming SUV. The SUV and the trailer it was carrying were all but destroyed, and the church van–with its 11 passengers–immediately caught fire. 4 people died inside, unable to exit. According to eyewitnesses, at least some of the people who died in the van were alive and crying for help before they were burned alive. Most likely these were all teenagers, as I think the fourth person killed was the driver, who probably died pretty quickly.

I’ve been obsessing about this incident since it happened. Most people push death to the back of their minds, considering its eternal horror only when it rises up to take a loved one. Myself, on the other hand, consider it constantly, and think frequently about the way in which the Unavoidable impacts life and the important paths everyone takes. Life is all the more beautiful for the very reason that it is so short. Thus, the magnitude of deaths like this one play very heavily on my mind.

I became very angry today, not at god, but at the fact that people continue to believe in a compassionate god. It seems to me that if god does truly exist somewhere out there, believers need to accept that he is more of an abusive parent than he is loving or compassionate.

Consider the death of the young man at the center of my story. If god exists, it’s one thing to let someone die. That might be part of the deal we have with eternity. Fine. But, it’s completely unnecessary to choose a death for someone that involves the most pain and the most mental horror imaginable. It’s particularly terrible that this burden was borne by people so young. If god is almighty and all powerful, it would have been no big deal to provide these children with an easier way to pass into the quiet hereafter.

Let’s suppose that I came upon a man who had just accidentally lit himself on fire, and was in great agony. Next to him, within easy reach, is a fire extinguisher. If I were to ignore the man and his plight, society would convict me for failing to come to his aid. I might not go to jail (depends on the state), but I would be forever vilified as the cruel individual who let someone burn to death when he could have prevented it.

Or, let’s imagine that a stepmother beats her young child frequently and severely, and her husband knows. He does nothing to stop it, despite being stronger than his wife and despite having a total love for his child. Is the father not just as guilty as the mother for not coming to the aid of his child?

I wonder why then, when the creator of the universe has it within his power to at least choose an easier death for someone but decides not to, we turn our heads away from convicting him under the same simple laws of compassion. Either god himself is abusive, and delights in the cruel death and sufferings of his creations, or he is a neglectful parent who is more culpable for having the power to stop suffering, but being unwilling to do so.

If there is a god, then he is a traitor to his own people. He has the power to help, he claims to be loving and compassionate, but in the real moments where it counts he chooses to revoke compassion, and instead allow the most horrific and violent things to happen when there are very clearly other alternatives.

Of course, I don’t believe in god. It sounds like I am angry with “him”, but I’m not. As mentioned above, I’m angry at the belief systems that continue to support the ridiculous notion that somewhere in the big blue sky resides a grand wizard that loves and cherishes his children. My belief system is far more comforting: we have nothing but ourselves when we take that last breath. We can hope that the last we take is one of rest and comfort, but the universe is not always that giving. At least it doesn’t make promises that it intentionally doesn’t keep. With the universe, we know what we get. I can live with that.

The believer might say something like “we humans can’t possibly understand god’s plan at such a heart breaking moment”. Even if that’s the case, it still doesn’t change the fact that god is a jerk. Follow me:

1. There are easier deaths than burning
2. God has the power to control how someone dies
3. God could have given my friend’s brother an easier death
4. God didn’t

If all the above are true, than it’s pretty easy to see the simple logic in what I’m suggesting. The power to change and the power to prevent are malicious tools if they are wielded by someone who cares to employ neither for the sake of his creation.

If the god people believe in were the ruler of a country, we’d all be praying that some brave soul should find his way to put a bullet between his eyes so that the downtrodden, the oppressed, and the lied-to, can finally get some rest and can lift their heads up from under his cruel boot.

It’s one thing to be cruel and to acknowledge it. At least that person is being honest. It’s a far worse crime to claim compassion, to claim love, but to perpetually allow torture and suffering to be the one and only birthright of mankind.