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Yes, I know it’s been a while since I last posted. Yes, I know I’m incredibly handsome and smell nice. You don’t need to keep telling me these things. So, on that note, let’s move on to a short but happy Christmas post about God answering prayers.

In the before time, in the long, long ago, some idiots decided that gas prices were too high and felt that the best thing to do would be to pray about the prices. God, after all, is a socialist, so why not ask him to change the whole course of human events so that Americans can pay less at the pump for their SUV fuel?

Well, apparently it worked. In California, where I live, the average price of gas around my place is about $2.00. I guess I should send the guy who organized that prayer group a letter of thanks, seeing as how he directly reduced the price of gas. Nevermind that his group destroyed the global economy in the process, he did get gas prices down! Thanks Rocky Twyman!

This reminds me of the Twilight Zone, where every good thing had some ugly downside. Or how about real life, where people pray for food to feed their children, but instead of food, they get bloody diarrhea? That’s kind of like food, right?

So in short, enjoy your Christmas, with it’s clearance turkey, Polystations, and robot force toys. If it hadn’t been for Rocky Twyman and his slave God, you’d all be living the high life still.