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I’m not sure why it came to mind, but I found myself pondering Genesis 38: 8-10 today as I rode my bike up Telegraph Canyon Rd. For those of you too lazy to click the link, it says this:

8 Then Judah said to Onan, ‘Go in to your brother’s wife and perform the duty of a brother-in-law to her; raise up offspring for your brother.’ 9 But since Onan knew that the offspring would not be his, he spilled his semen on the ground whenever he went in to his brother’s wife, so that he would not give offspring to his brother. 10 What he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord, and he put him to death also.

Basically, for not impregnating his dead brother’s wife, god killed Onan. At least god was kind enough to wait until after Onan was finished to put him down. I wonder how long god gave him? Did Onan and Tamar get to cuddle for a while first?

This passage cracks me up, as it’s another example of how obvious it is that the Bible was written by man. Or, if not written by man, how big of an indifferent bastard god really is. Seriously, think about the implications of this passage: a man was ordered to ejaculate inside his sister-in-law. He didn’t, and god killed him for it. On the other hand, men like Hitler, Stalin, Hussein (and so on) can kill and torture with impunity, and are not killed by god in the same fashion. Apparently, god feels that the ejaculatory fluids of a single man were more important than ending the lives of some of the most terrible men in world history. God can’t save the lives of children burning to death on their way home from church camp, but boy does he hate it when you pour your hot, steamy cup of DNA on the floor.

I realize that I’m skipping around the actual point. Onan was killed because he failed to do a duty to his brother as commanded by law. Even so, this is so bloody trivial as to be laughable. How important are we really when Onan is good enough to strike dead for not performing vaginal ejaculation, but your sister being touched in a “this is our little secret” kind of way by your uncle doesn’t merit so much as a broken leg? Thank Allah god has his priorities in order.

P.s. If you have no idea what the heck the title or the banner have to do with this story, peep this link.

Link of the day: A way better game than the one I linked you to last time