FIREBLIND.COM

There’s a lot of cool news coming out of the bio-tech industry of late. Perhaps the most exciting is that scientists are on the verge of creating the first synthetic life form. They can already make synthetic viruses, and have already succeeded in creating basic forms of DNA. Next up is the insertion of synthetic DNA into a “blank” cell. What this means is that a crazy-ass world is just over the horizon. If this technology can be exploited correctly, it means an amazing future for mankind built on the backs of designer organisms.

What this really means though—assuming some mad scientist doesn’t create a super bug that kills all of us—is that eventually, we’re probably going to combine this with cloning to make a way to significantly expand our lifetimes. It might be possible to push our age into the multiple hundreds of years. What pisses me off is that we’re so busy spending our money on dumb stuff, we’re probably not going to figure it out until I’m really old or until after I die. In short, I’m going to punch your grandkids in their balls, because they get to live to like 300, and I get to die like a normal sucker.